I Learned to be Present in the Moment
by Deborah Petrille

None of my relationships ever seemed to work out. After a string of “monogamous” relationships that would never actually end up being monogamous, I got married. After 17 years of marriage, I got more adventurous and curious about things like tantra. So, my husband and I drifted apart and got divorced. 

It was after my divorce that I learned about Orgasmic Meditation online and asked a friend if he’d want to try it with me. He agreed, so we attempted to have an OM, though it was a far cry from how OMs are supposed to go. We had candles and music and giggled all the way through. Eager to gain a deeper understanding of the practice, I connected with some people who OMed and was trained by a certified instructor. They taught me that candles, music, and flirtation were strictly not a part of the OM container.

During my first real OM, without any frill and just the simple steps, I felt tingling magnetic electricity spreading through my clitoris. “That was fun!” I thought afterward. As I OMed more, I noticed more and more sensations in my body. I wasn’t in the past, I wasn’t in the future, I was just in the sensation of right now. I let it move through me. I developed the ability to notice more and more things, from where someone’s finger was on my clit to what part of their finger they were using to stroke: the tip or the pad. 

OMing taught me that my clitoris was not just the little button everyone thinks it is. It’s a whole organ that has different parts with varying sensitivities. Becoming aware of these sensitivities during OMs not only got me familiar with what my body wanted but also made me better at sensing other people. When my partner’s thoughts weren’t on me, I could sense it in my body.

One of my OM partners challenged me one day to avoid giving adjustments for my next 15 OMs. I thought I would die! But during one OM, I had a breakthrough. First, I realized I could make my partner’s finger move with my thoughts! Then, I realized it didn’t matter — whatever they did could feel great regardless, if I was focusing on what felt great instead of what I didn’t like. I learned to surrender into the tenor and flavor and emotion of each sensation and just ride the wave. 

Now, I’m in an open relationship, and it's so, so good. I’ve taken everything OM has taught me about my body into our relationship. After repeatedly giving adjustments during OMs, I can be direct and ask my partner, “Can you move a little bit to the right?” or “can I have a bit more pressure there? Can you try this?” But I can also enjoy the experience no matter what he’s doing. 

I’m also much better at my job because of OM. As a clairvoyant, I rely on my intuition and empathic sensitivity to read people. OM increased both of these things. I used to intuitively know things about people but not be able to explain where that knowledge was coming from. Now, I can not only vividly see my clients’ stories but also feel them. I was even able to use my fine-tuned intuitive abilities to get to the bottom of health issues I was having. I could see exactly where in my brain my migraines were coming from, which allowed me to get the right treatment for them.

Every area of my life is better because I’ve learned to focus my attention on enjoyable sensations. For example, if somebody gets on the bus and they smell, I can get my mind off the smell. I’ll decide that I’m only going to smell the good smells around me, and the bad ones go away! I can even figure out where to sit on the bus based on the feeling I get from them. Some people will just make me feel safe and others, the opposite. 

It feels like I’ve been living in a different world since I started OMing. Of course, though, it’s the same world. The difference is that I can feel all of it — and I get to choose what I feel.