I’ve always been a fast talker and a mover and a shaker. I work in sales and business development, and I’m drawn to an action-packed lifestyle. Discovering Orgasmic Meditation has been a welcome lesson in slowing down—teaching me to be more present, connect with people in the moment, and tune into my intuition for deeper and more satisfying interactions with everyone I meet.
I grew up in the Bay Area and always wanted to see what life was like in another city. New York City drew me with its energy: Everyone is on the move here with places to go and people to see. While the Bay Area is more spread out, everything in Manhattan is in easy reach by foot or subway ride, and that speaks to the spontaneous side of my personality. I’m an improv guy at heart. I prefer not to plan too much in advance and like to see where life takes me.
I’m also hungry for experiences of all kinds, and for a while, that translated into going out with friends to different restaurants, bars, shows, concerts, and whatever the city had to offer. As I stayed on in New York, my focus shifted toward finding new ways to develop myself personally. That meant test-driving experiences that were outside my comfort zone, such as new types of yoga, meditation, and self-help classes—or listening to motivational speakers who left me feeling pumped up and inspired.
It was while seeking out Ted Talks online that I stumbled on one about Orgasmic Meditation. This was pure luck, as I knew nothing about OM at the time. I’ve always been interested in ways to connect to other people, and I know that connecting during our vulnerable moments is one of the best ways to bring people together. So that side of the practice really appealed to me.
I also had a feeling that OM would help me do my job better, because when you work in sales, you need to be in synch with people. You need to really listen and have a back-and-forth connection about that person’s needs and how you can help them out.
I learned the basics and started practicing regularly. And I discovered pretty quickly that the container of OM—the nest and all the different steps and protocols—helps people feel at ease. There’s a trust and a comfort in knowing what the expectations are, and in understanding the process itself.
As I progressed with OM, it became my safe haven. I remember going to OM after chaotic days at work, racing to get there, booking it through the subway, and then arriving to my partner in the nest and being able to just exhale. She would look me in the eye and say, “Breathe,” and all the worries and noise of the day—the unpredictable clients, money negotiations, and emotional highs and lows—would fade away. I would take a breath and place my hands on her thighs for the grounding step, connecting with her in the moment.
In those OMs, which felt like a dance between me and my partner, I would grow calm and focus on the task at hand. The only real goal was to embrace the OM and see where it would lead us. Step by step, breath by breath, I learned to slow down. At the same time, I got the hang of intuiting my partner’s needs. And I always left with an energy boost from the orgasmic state, which is more powerful than any juice or vitamin.
Yet, just when you think you’ve mastered OM, there’s a new surprise that knocks you out. Once, I had a crazy experience in the nest where my hand started shaking uncontrollably. I tried moving it to the side but my hand kept vibrating, like a battery that wouldn’t stop running. There was no “off” button and nothing to do except ride it out. It was as if the practice was telling me that certain things were beyond my control. And that was okay.
Thankfully, the practice isn’t just about me—OM is about focusing on your partner and what that person is feeling and desiring. Through OMing with different partners, I got to see that every woman is different, all genitals are different, and every OM has its own story. I love discovering each partner’s uniqueness. The practice is about finding the greatness in each other and embracing it.
Applying those principles into my work life, OM helps me to really listen and tune into my clients, just as I suspected it would. I’m not as preoccupied with thoughts like, “What is the smooth line that I can say right now?” I’m not wondering what I need to do to convince someone to buy something, and I’m not thinking about the PowerPoint presentation I need to give tomorrow. I’m more adept at solving my clients’ problems because I’m able to be more present with them.
This is the gift of my experience helping my partner—and myself—feel comfortable in the nest, no matter what is happening. When you’re present with yourself, everyone around you feels more present and connected, too.
There’s a quote that I love from a sports coach named John Wooden, who says, “Be quick, but not in a hurry.” I realize now that, before OM, I was quick and in a hurry. Now, I'm quick but not in a hurry. I’m able to see and tune into things that I was missing before, whether it's in my relationships, conversations with people, or any type of situation.
To put it simply, OM gives me a way to understand others better. And when you understand people better, that makes life more pleasurable for everyone.