"I think you may have to accept it will always hurt," my doctor bluntly informed me after a visit in hopes of reigniting the spark between my husband and me. After having two children, our intimate life took a turn south. I often found myself drinking alcohol prior to sex to numb the pain, but it didn’t help that much. On some nights, I’d simply bite my lip and bear the pain.
My doctor concluded it was a result of postpartum scar tissue inside my vagina. My husband didn’t help matters either. After two children, my body had changed. My husband made snide comments about it that did little to help my body recover or put me at ease and shed baby weight. Instead, I became an introvert, and my friends worried that depression was setting in. Divorce soon followed.
After my divorce, I finally felt free to breathe and be myself more, but I was still left with body dysmorphia. Even worse, I was still experiencing pain during sex. I often felt uncomfortable with my body and tried to show as little of it as possible. I just wanted a relationship with intimacy that didn’t leave me distressed. Finally, I started to research what I could do to help. Google pointed me in the direction of Orgasmic Meditation. I shrugged it off as a curiosity until it came up in conversation with a friend. I went to the introduction session to learn more.
My experience was life changing. I found a male OM partner who I could OM with consistently. OM helped me find real pleasure beyond the pain. As a traveling medical saleswoman, I was able to work OM sessions into my schedule between appointments.
I brought my boyfriend to an introduction course, and very soon after, we started practicing OM together. I started to enjoy sex again as a byproduct of my OM practice. I didn’t have to drink to enjoy it anymore.
I also feel that OM has given our relationship a new platform to communicate. Even when we have disagreements, we are able to OM together and then reconnect with cooler heads. OM allowed me to rediscover my confidence and my voice in the most intimate, and vulnerable space. That confidence transferred over to the rest of my life.
Within six months of OM, I lost thirty pounds, found my deeper passion again, and my relationship became a source of joy. Before OM, I was mulling over breast augmentation to try and ‘fix’ my body’s postpartum “flaws”, but it didn’t seem necessary anymore after OM. I felt at home in my body, maybe even more so than I ever had in my life.
I trust my body… When I listen to the yes, I feel good. When I listen to the no, I feel good. OM has allowed me to find comfort with my body, and the confidence necessary to enjoy life.