The Confidence to Start Dating Again
by Tim Williams

After 42 years of marriage, my wife was no longer the person I'd married. At first, we were raising our children, and then we took on the care of our parents. When the elders passed on, and the children were growing beyond their teen years, we didn't have a common focus. My wife and I weren't communicating, and I couldn't cope with the fights. I'd go sailing to get away. 

One day, I was searching online for information about original manufacturers items, or O.M. items. Instead of bringing up spare parts, I came across a video about Orgasmic Meditation. I was quite intrigued. I've always had the idea that a woman's clitoris is more important than it's usually considered to be. OM struck me as progressive and like something I wanted to learn more about.

My wife was not at all interested when I tried to talk to her about OM. I sent her links to information about it, and she never read the material. Eventually, I made contact with some people who OMed, and I learned the practice on my own.

When I first started, I was nervous and had a hard time getting the gloves on my hands. Now, I always check out the gloves before I start, so I can make sure they're the right size. After OMing for a while, I became less nervous as I became better at stroking, to the point where I felt quite comfortable. 

Once I was able to relax, I also felt a strong sense of connection with the strokee. The connection came partly through verbal communication. When the woman asked for an adjustment, she was clear and precise, so I was able to understand what she wanted, and then I could adjust to better be in synch. There is no one stroke fits all.

But the mechanism of connection goes far beyond making and responding to requests. I used to feel that connecting just meant people doing something together. Now, I find there's a depth and fullness that comes from connecting at the almost microscopic level involved when two people are paying close attention to the movement of a finger across a clitoris. The connection becomes both visceral and lymbic.

Now that my wife and I are preparing to sell our house and go our separate ways, I'm contemplating a leap to an online dating site. My experiences with OMing have taught me a lot about women and how to relate to them, which has given me the confidence to start dating again. OM has opened up a whole new world for me.