I work as a night shift concierge in an apartment building on the Upper East Side in New York City. I run a small business on the side as a magician and modify decks of playing cards for magicians. I also do card deck design work.
From my early teen years, I dealt heavily with depression. It was a dominant factor in my life for a very long time, finally reaching a peak right around the time my first marriage was ending. I stayed in that relationship for 15 years even though it was an abusive situation, and part of the reason I stayed for so long was that I thought I couldn't find anything better. I thought “This is as good as it’s going to get.”
Everywhere I went, it felt like there was a dark cloud over my head. I definitely was not seeing life or myself very clearly. There was a lot of loneliness and a lot of neediness. I finally emerged from that dark hole after I got treatment for alcohol abuse and stopped drinking back in 2007. I also started seeing a therapist on a regular basis and started taking medication.
I got married a second time and it wasn’t the best relationship either. Despite the second divorce in 2015, I can pretty comfortably say that I was through the depression completely. I wasn't in a situation where I felt a desperate need to be with someone. I had the desire for sure, but I was also comfortable being in my own company.
Basically, at that point I was trying to find what direction I wanted to take my life going forward. I can honestly say that I was in a pretty happy place. I had become a martial artist practicing Aikido, and I was doing zazen, a Chinese sitting meditation.Sme online searching led me to OM and I signed up to learn. One of the first things I noticed about the OM practice is that the focus it gave me, the concentration I applied to each session, was very similar to my martial arts and meditation practices.
The ability to notice the little things in life was not something that I ever really paid much attention to prior to OM. But sharing frames, sharing experiences with my OM partners, is all about focusing attention and being aware of minute details and being able to be in the moment and respond to the moment. As a result of my practice, I’m now aware of so many more details during day-to-day activities. And it’s really helped my work when I’m consulting with other magicians about their card decks and in developing my own designs.
Of course, the major thing that happened when I found OM was I also found my third wife at the same time. She had been doing the practice for a couple years before we met. There was such an energetic connection between the two of us, a kind of a resonance when we OMed. There was this amazing general feeling of connection that we bonded over. Without OM our relationship would definitely not be the same!
I’ve been practicing Orgasmic Meditation now for two years, and it's definitely augmented my confidence. It’s expanded my circle of friends and given me the opportunity to meet a lot of very interesting people. I’m more comfortable talking to people in general now. It's also helped me in terms of finding direction and starting my own business.
The work that I do modifying playing cards requires a great deal of concentration. If I make one small mistake, I've ruined an entire deck of cards. When you're in the middle of an OM, you're focusing all of your attention on one thing, on that one task, on that one spot. You do whatever you can to empty your mind as much as possible, and when a thought enters your mind, you embrace it and you let it go and try to return to an empty mind again. That kind of focus is not always easy to achieve in everyday life. And that is the kind of focus that I need to have when I'm doing the work that I'm doing with playing cards.
OM has brought many gifts into my life to say the least!