OM Taught Me To Be Me
by Julie

When I discovered Orgasmic Meditation, I was working as a dental hygienist. To be honest, I didn't care for the work, but it sustained my life so that I could pay my mortgage and take care of my youngest daughter who was still living with me after my divorce. After twenty years of the good and the bad, in a relationship where my needs weren't important and my role as a parent to three children was pretty much 24/7, the bad finally got worse when my husband started having an affair with a younger woman he met at a rock climbing gym. 

After the divorce I spent as much time as I could participating in a women's group and Bible studies while I raised my family. I went through an enormous identity change after I got divorced. I was birthing a new identity of somebody who was sticking up for herself and becoming more independent, while still hanging on to the strings of the marriage and the idea of marriage. It was excruciating being a 47-year-old woman re-entering the dating scene. I felt like I didn't understand men at all. Then my youngest left home and I felt really empty. It was like falling into a void. 

I ended up taking a yoga teacher training, which was super helpful. I also took up meditation which allowed me to get a lot deeper within myself, understanding spirit and my connection to source.  I eventually attended a demonstration of the OM practice. My whole being broke open. I was bawling through the whole thing like a baby, realizing I had never known that kind of enjoyment and connection, thinking I could never possibly experience it. 

After that I learned how to OM for myself and all I could think was, “Why didn't I do this sooner?"

The OM practice fit with my spiritual understanding and the need for my body to feel a wide variety of sensation. It just made sense to me. It was like holding a yoga pose and feeling every sensation. And it didn’t matter whether that sensation was informing me of either pleasure or displeasure. That wasn’t the point. Having no judgement and just having the sensation was the point.

I love how the container holds things steady. I can trust that things will only go as far as the practice dictates. I can trust there is no going past that point. I also appreciate the grounding strokes and the grounding pressure at the very end of the OM. That said, despite my enthusiasm, at first it was really hard for me to be vulnerable during the sharing frames portion of the practice. It took a lot of chipping away to open up and become the larger Julie.

OM has taught me so many things. I remember feeling sharp poking sensations that in the past would have been so uncomfortable I'd want to stop what I was doing. But now I was able to understand that this was an emotional opening. Things were starting to unscramble in me—experiences that I had when I was a young child. Issues that I had as a child that I never faced or even acknowledged until OMing finally brought it to light and I was able to talk about it.

OM taught me there is a quiet place within me of sensation, a place where I can feel more electricity and energy with just a single touch to any part of my body. I am now very sensitive to any kind of intention put upon me, whether it be a single touch on my shoulder or someone’s gaze falling upon me. 

Since starting OM, I understand myself better. I’m no longer ruled by somebody else's agenda. My agenda has become more important than anybody else's agenda. I’m stronger in my relationships. My ability to listen with curiosity and observe my yoga client's desires and hold space for them has increased. On the relationship front, I tell what’s up for me without fear of losing a particular relationship. I am able to say everything that is occurring for me and not judge it even if it comes out wonky at first. 

Today I’m constantly stretching myself to the edge of my comfort zone and leveling up. And it's happening at a rapid pace in all areas of my life. I have my own business. I'm learning entrepreneurship. I'm sticking up for myself. I’m in control of my brand. I'm okay with rejection. I'm okay with being seen.