When I was young, I was mostly homeschooled. So, socially, I was a bit inept. From age seven to about age nine, my parents and I traveled across the United States. We lived in Alaska for a while, and I remember the trees were my friends. Because we were always driving and moving, I didn't really connect with people. I remember after I started OMing it was about three years before I really knew it was okay to go up to a strange woman and start talking to her. My social skills with women were just horrid. I had no confidence. Nothing.
I found Orgasmic Meditation when a buddy in San Francisco told me about a seminar that was happening a quarter mile from my house in Los Angeles. He highly recommended it and I said, “Sure. Why not?” I didn't know a thing about OM. I met the woman who was giving the talk in the elevator on our way up. In that five second chat, I fell in love with her personality. So I was totally intrigued before we even started.
My first OM was six years ago, but I remember thinking, “Wow, this is amazing. This is awesome. We don’t have to have sex. I don't have to take her out to dinner. It isn't about romance. It’s just about the moment of contact and connection.”
I remember how my breath and whole being downshifted into a slow steadiness. In the moment, it felt complicated, and I was sweaty and worried, thinking, “Am I doing it right? Am I doing it too hard? Do I need an adjustment?” My brain was rattling. But once I got past the rattling part, underneath it all, it felt peaceful, like a lake that's smooth as glass … super smooth and super easy. There was no stress. It was all about being in the moment.
The next day, I was so turned on, I remember being on the freeway and my car felt huge. I felt like superman. I felt I could just lift cars up with all the energy my body was feeling. And I kept noticing things I’d never noticed before. Looking at the roses and seeing how red and vibrant they were. It was like taking everything and putting it under a microscope and really looking at it and studying it and enjoying what it has to offer for the very first time.
My OM practice taught me to listen to other people's inner voice … to slow way down and sense what’s really going on with them. When I’m stroking. I like to go slow. If I go quick, I'm not going to feel the electricity. I’ll miss the power zipping to the left or to the right. I’ll slide off the spot. The slower I go, the longer I get to be on the spot where the most sensation hits my finger, transmitting information through my body.
OM has not only taught me patience, but it’s also taught me compassion with myself. It’s a real challenge to stay on the right spot. I have to relax and breathe deep to really be in the zone and to touch my partner in a way that works for her and not get down on myself if I mess up. And I have to be okay with adjustments. And I am! One of the greatest things about OM is calling for an adjustment.
One of the amazing things about Orgasmic Meditation is that it prepares you for anything. You never know what's going to happen next in an OM. It's such a moment by moment practice of change. One moment I can feel like I'm underneath a dam and water is crushing down and then, all of a sudden, I'll feel like a rocket ship and I'm heading to Mars. It's fascinating not knowing what's next and just experiencing it in my body and mind without analyzing or judging.
In my relationships there's a depth and quality of attention, connecting with the person, looking them right in the eye and saying what is what, making sure that my delivery is clear. I don’t let the person or the moment go until I’m sure that everything has been said and there is completion … that everyone is getting what they need.
I'm a different person than I was before OM. I am patient and clear and I listen and pay focused attention to detail. I know how to talk to people. I’m definitely not that awkward, socially backward young man from Alaska anymore!